A True Story of Normala: Having Been Raped Made Her Reluctant to Get Married

My name is Normala. This is my confession about raping that I had experienced. In the past I was a jovial, passionate, and sociable girl. My friends always said that without me, the circumstance would be so quiet.

My mother always told me to guard myself, since one of women’s prides was her virginity. If a woman had lost her virginity, then there’d be no more pride to her when she was married. I always kept the message.

However, my ‘pride’ was stolen forcefully by someone. At the moment, I lived in school’s dormitory, and one night I was sleeping while the rain was falling heavily. A man came into my room and raped me.

Frankly, I did not want to remember the incident because when I experienced in, I felt like my life was not worthy at all. I felt like I was rubbish, since the most precious thing in my life has been taken forcefully.

I think a woman who experienced what I’ve experienced would get negative impression from other people. Therefore, I never told anybody about what has happened to me that night, including my parents. I kept myself and was frequently absent from school. I was no longer able to be close to male friends. I was always suspicious and kept my distance from them.

I held all anger, disappointment, and trauma until one day—I studied in a college and met a tutor who told me about “The Heart of a Father”. He said that God is merciful; love all the people no matter what the background was. He never recalled our past. Moreover, God will return what had been gone from oneself.

The tutor said to me: “You are the daughter of God; you are His special treasure; and what has been gone from you will be returned by God. He is pleased with your life. You are a cheerful and kind woman. God wants your life to be meaningful to many people.”

When I asked God if that was His wish, I nearly did not believe since the tutor has not known me well. He did not know who I am and was. I think God is awesome that He is able to deliver the words through the tutor. I responded to God’s revelation and experienced a healing. I felt like there’s something cast away from me; and later I felt like I was a wonderful woman.

In spite of being delivered, I still considered that there’s no good man in the whole world, except my father. As a matter of fact, I did not want to get married because I was afraid in starting a relationship. Until one day my friend asked me, “What do you think if God wants you not to be alone and get married?” After hearing the question, my heart was disturbed.

Later, I met a man named Wahyudi. He was a role model in an organization and adored by a lot of women. He was the most modest man I knew. And then I said to God, “God, if he was the man, I don’t want to date; I want a marriage, instead.”

After being friends for more than a year, Wahyudi revealed his serious whole-hearted intention. Next, I decided to tell him about what has happened to me in the past because I had a principle that my future husband had to know who I really am. There’s no deception in a marriage.

“I have been raped and I don’t force you to continue your feelings for me. This is who I really am.”

In spite of being shocked, Wahyudi is willing to accept me for who I am. In 2005, we get married. I remember what the tutor has said to me, “what has been gone from you will be returned by God.” I once lost my trust, and at the marriage vows, Yudi is like the most precious gift that God gives to me.

Today, my husband and I minister children and women who get pregnant before marriage. We are also blessed with two awesome sons. I always said to Lord Jesus, “Thank You for sacrificing for me and being with me always; also thanks for giving me the most precious gift in my life that is my husband.”

 

Source:

Normala Susana

Sumber : V130827143554

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1. Cahaya Bagi Negeri
2. Daily Devotional
3. Nabi Palsu
4. Khotbah Tentang Bersyukur
5. Punya Tujuan Hidup Umur Lebih Panjang

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